My First Mickey Mouse Tears

Being a Mom means I get to experience a lot of “Firsts”. First words, first steps, first tooth; you get the picture. And recently, I got to experience another first with my two kids, our “First Vacation”.

Last year, we put in to works, the plans to take our now 15 month old daughter and our 3 year old son to Disney World. We weighed the pro's and con's of attempting a trip like this with our kids being so young, and wondered exactly how much of it they would actually remember and/or enjoy. But we came to the conclusion that the memories we would be creating, all the way around, would be memorable (not to mention the pictures and videos we would take to show the kids as they got older would help them remember too) to them AND us. We weren't traveling alone, we planned this trip with my husband's parents and his brother and his wife too. So we knew we would have ample help keeping an eye on the kids and making sure everyone got as much as possible out of the trip.

The kids were great on the plane, and the anticipation of getting to “Mickey's House” was insurmountable for our son. I just knew that he “got it” and that he knew what was happening. It was awesome.

Now, I am not generally a big softie. It takes a lot for a mushy movie to make me cry or for a sweet card to bring me to tears. I am able to hold on to my tough exterior most of the time. BUT....when it comes to just about anything with my kids, particularly those magical “firsts”, I am an emotional wreck. A lot. All of the time. Some find it comical, but most find it sweet.

I cried the first time my son saw Barney. I almost smacked MYSELF for being such a dorky Mom.

But seeing Mickey Mouse, THE Mickey Mouse that we have been talking about for months and months and months; THE Mickey Mouse that can be found on many items that decorate my son's big boy bedroom; yeah, I cried. Right there in front of Cinderella's Castle during the Move It! Shake It! Celebrate It! Street Party. There we were, dancing a mere 5 feet from THE Mickey Mouse. And that moment that my son saw him for the first time, was a moment that is now embedded in my heart for the rest of my life. His jaw dropped, his eyes widened, and shortly there after, he began to dance to the music. It sounds cliché, but it was simply magical. It wasn't the 'first' time I cried at a moment like this during this very vacation, but it was the first time my heart sparkled and shined, and it kept on sparkling and shining the rest of the trip. There is something about moments like those, when your child is so completely and utterly vulnerable to be able to experience a moment with such joy, and the fact that as a mother, there is nothing more amazing than being able to experience it right along with them, that makes it (you guessed it) magical.

We will visit Disney World again some day, and the kids will be older, and the impressions they will receive on THAT trip will vary quite vastly from the impressions they received on this trip. THE Mickey Mouse most likely will not fascinate them like he does now. Rides like “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” and “It's a Small World” may make them feel tortured instead of tender-hearted. So this “First” was a very special “First”. And it is a “First” of many “Firsts” that made me shed happy tears. Magical, Mickey Mouse tears.

Originally posted to the Chicago Moms Blog on May 31, 2010.

Billboards, Boobs, and our Babies

It is a stretch of highway less than 30 miles long. We ride it a few times a week, twice a day, going back and forth from where we live and where I work and where my parents and my husband's parents live. We drive a mini-van, with big windows so wide you can see grass and clear blue skies, all in a single glance. Sounds picturesque and beautifully scenic right? It totally would be, if it weren't for the "giant boobs".

Yeah, I said it. "Boobs".

On Interstate 80/94 in Northwest Indiana, both Westbound and Eastbound, there is a plethora of billboards to entertain and inform (Frankly, I would prefer if these billboards stuck to the latter). You can see ads for restaurants, hospitals, fireworks stores, car dealerships, and even for the Curious Kid's Museum in St. Joseph, Michigan. But wait! You can also see a large handful of billboards promoting a variety of strip clubs that litter the Northwest Indiana region.

Now, I am not one to judge. I won't judge if a woman chooses that particular line of work, whether she needs to or wants to. I won't even judge the owners who feel it is necessary to "offer" such places of entertainment. But I do draw the line, and these billboards have grossly crossed it with their scantily clad "ladies" baring FAR too much for all the world to see, particularly children.

What is this teaching today's kids? I have a 3 year old son, and how do I know when he starts to notice these things? He has yet to mention them, but I am sure the day will come (much sooner than I will be comfortable with) when he does "get it". And what do I tell him? How can I teach him about respecting women and respecting himself? How do I tell him it's okay for these sorts of displays because it is "free speech", even though Mommy disagrees with them?

And what about my 1 year old daughter, who will grow up in this region as well, seeing these same billboards day in and day out. How do I teach her to respect herself and honor her dignity? How do I tell her this line if work is not acceptable for a young lady, but our towns and cities and states and COUNTRY accept it as second nature, all so someone can make a buck? I have a feeling I have a complicated road ahead me raising a teenage daughter, even without this added strife as a result of this filth. Thanks for adding even more onto my already ever growing pile.

But as I think more and more on this subject, how can I differentiate between a billboard ad for a trashy strip club and that of the threesome Calvin Klein jean ad last year (where a topless young girl is laying on top of one topless man, yet kissing another topless man. Oh, did I mention there is yet another topless man on the floor with his pants unbuttoned?). But, they are all wearing Calvin Klein jeans, and for some reason, THAT makes it all okay, right? Wrong. Sticking on a high price tag, calling it art, and slapping it up in a major fashion capitol of the world still won't convince this parent that that sort of trash is acceptable. It just makes my job as a reasonable parent, all that much harder. I suppose I have to be glad I don't live in New York, right? I am curious though, if this topic has ever concerned parents in cities like New York or Los Angeles? Or have the Moms there been desensitized since it is more "every-day" and "normal" there?

I do wonder about how to approach such topics with my kids as they grow and learn more about the real world. How to say this is right, but this is wrong. And how will I challenge these same children as they become teenagers, and are certain they know far better than I do about such controversial topics? Worry about them now, or worry about them later, I will always worry. And when the day finally arrives, I know I won't be prepared to tackle it at all. But are we ever as a parent ready to deal with such subjects? How many times are we caught off guard with inquiries like "Where do babies come from?" and "Why don't girls have a penis?" and follow up with silly little stories about storks and God and "because-I-said-so's"?

As a parent, all I can do is try my best to guide them in the right direction, answer their questions to the best of my ability, and hold them close, but give them wings to fly and discover the world on their own in hopes that everything I have done as a parent will assist in influencing them to make the right decisions. I can also hope they remove these trashy ads from the young, impressionable eyes of young children. But in today's society, I think that is a wish that will come unanswered.

Originally posted to Chicago Moms Blog on April 13, 2010.

You can often find Jen stressing about the daily in's-and'-out's of mommying over on Twitter and at her personal blog, Mommy Instincts.

The Life Lesson of Rejection

It was a beautiful sunny day. We were playing at the park with our weekly playgroup consisting of kids covering a wide range of ages. There was swinging and picnic lunches and playing ball and grass stains. The big kids (those older than 3 to 4 years old) were off in the field, doing whatever it is big kids do. The little kids were playing at the playground. Us Mom's gathered strategically throughout, there to help the little one's up the ladder or down the slide. Our photographer Mama's were capturing it all on film, so we can remember these precious times, when are kids are carefree and courageous, and growing up before our very eyes.

My son, Jonah just turned 3 last week. Three years has flown by ever so fast, like a whirlwind of daily ordinary and extra-ordinary events. I remember some key moments, but most of it has blown right over my head, as I conquer each and every day as it presents itself. Mothering 2 little ones isn't easy at times, but these are times I wouldn't change for the world. It's days like this gorgeous day at the park that I will remember forever. The sunshine, the breeze, the life lessons.

You see, Jonah is doing what most 3 year olds do. He spent the first year or two of his life sticking close by my side. Scary, overwhelming events, like today's play date, would have set him off. I'm not sure if it's him getting older that had made him more independent, or the introduction of his little sister, but either way, today was the first time he showed me that he was okay doing things on his own.

Along with his heightened independence has come the realization that the challenges of childhood are upon us, or more so, him.

Jonah fits right in the middle of the "Little Kids" group, he's not the oldest, but not the youngest. He gets along well with his "friends", but desires to be among the "Big Kids", a group of 3 older boys who get to play a little further away, do more daring tricks, and play more unsupervised. When they run off, he runs off. When they jump off of a high part of the play ground equipment, he gets RIGHT to the edge, before I have to stop him. He wants to climb on the harder parts of the playground, and run the fields, following the footsteps of the "Big Kids". I sometimes let him go a little further than I would normally, but more often I call him back. While simultaneously feeling guilty for not letting him be adventurous like I know he wants to.

I told him today he couldn't go to the bleachers that were far away, he had to play on the one's closer to where I was, and where the Big Boys were playing. A minute later, the Big Boys ran off to the further away bleachers. And Jonah being a good boy, he stayed, sitting on the lowest bench (because I told him he couldn't go up to the top where the Big Boys were) and watched them run off. I know they didn't do it to hurt him. I'm sure they aren't too keen on a 3 year old hanging around them. I don't blame them a bit. But in that very moment, I felt my heart sink to my stomach. I could see in his eyes he wanted to go with.

There it was.

My son's first taste of rejection.

I just looked at him for a second, wondering if I weren't so overprotective, would I have "protected" him from feeling this?

Ironic, huh?

I quickly shoo-ed him over to the playground, and within a few seconds, he was climbing and running, and most likely had forgotten what just happened. But it stuck with me. And now, hours later, it's still here. In the pit of my stomach. I know these occurrences will happen more and more as he grows up. He will feel rejected, over and over and over; whether it is if he doesn't make the basketball team, the girl he has a crush on goes out with another boy, or his best friend betrays him; it is going to happen. And I can't protect him from it all. I just have to be here to catch him when he falls.

But boy, when he falls, little will he know, I will fall even harder.

Originally posted to Chicago Moms Blog on April 6, 2010.

You can often find Jen stressing about the daily in's-and'-out's of mommying over on Twitter and at her personal blog, Mommy Instincts.

My Perfect Night ~ Then & Now

My idea of a perfect night 2000: Dinner at Flat Top Bar & Grill, an intimate little Guster concert at The Vic, and finding some dive bar to hang out in until they kick us out at closing time.

My idea of a perfect night 2010: A Dinner that isn't stuck in the cracks of a high chair, a DVR'd 3 week old episode of American Idol ~ Hollywood week, and hoping I get a few good hours of sleep before being awakened by a crying baby.

What a difference 10 years makes in that of a new mom. I can't remember the last time I "went out" (is that what the kid's still call it these days?). I fondly remember picking up and hitting the "City" at a moment's notice. Running without a plan and doing anything and everything on a whim. There was a certain glamor to be driving in from northwest Indiana and seeing the city all lit up. It made me feel all tingly and giddy inside. Can you tell, I didn't get out much?

I met a number of really cool people and bands (or at least people and bands that I thought were cool) like, Guster, Nine Days, Vertical Horizon, Shawn Mullins, and Pat McGee Band just to name a few. It was a high and an adrenaline rush I never felt in any other way to talk to them and take pictures with them. I got all worked up standing in line to get their autograph, or waiting outside in the cold for hours hoping they would come out and talk to us. I will admit, I was a giggly, annoying groupie. Most people would have hated me for that back then.

Fast forward 10 years. Instead of the House of Blues and The Vic, I am now frequenting venues like Allstate Arena and the Star Plaza Theatre to attend some of the hottest new shows out there. I'm talking about The Wiggles, Imagination Movers, and anything related to my 3 year olds best friend, Mickey Mouse. And instead of the rush I got from meeting the guys of Guster, I am now feeling the same intensity alongside my 3 year old while we are high-fiving Mover Rich or Mover Dave.

But what makes it a million times better; makes my heart race and my eyes widen, is I get to share it all with my son. The boy is following so closely in his mother & father's footsteps when it comes to a love of music; it's incredible. He feels the exact same way as I used to years ago. He bops to the music, sings the songs aloud, and understands the hype of getting to see a "band" up close and in person. He has a high pitched squeal that could put any female Beatles fan to shame. He just gets it. And for that I am so proud.

It's okay by me to put these bands and groups on a pedestal for my kids. They are good role models and give my son someone to look up to besides those he knows in real life.  Kids are going to create their own idols, no matter what; the least I can do as a mother is point them in the direction of those I think are right for them. The Imagination Movers teach teamwork, problem solving, hard work, and how to have fun all the while. I look forward to being able to incorporate my own favorite bands and songs into his ever expanding musical repertoire as he gets older. Introducing music to kids at a very young age is key to their artistic and creative development, and with the depletion of musical programs in so many schools these days, it is important to start kids off right on the right toe-tapping foot, from the very start. And it is up to the parent to give the child the tools to experience music and all of its possibilities.

Now, even though I miss those crazy nights out on the town, I have my very own musical idol right here in my very own home. And playing Beatles Rock Band with him is the most excitement you will find me having on a Saturday night. And you know what? I am totally okay with that.

Originally posted to Chicago Moms Blog on March 11, 2010.

When Jen isn't dancing and singing with her kids; at home or at a live concert, she's blogging about all; openly and honestly at her personal blog, Mommy Instincts or twittering about it at @mommyinstincts.

SV Moms Brand/Blogger Mixer: Chicago 2010

I have been lucky enough to write among some pretty awesome Mom's over on the Chicago Mom's Blog during the last few months. But something I have been really excited about was the SV Mom's Brand/Blogger Mixer that was mentioned shortly after I became a part of the SV Mom's Family.

Now, if you know me, I have grown to LOVE working with brands/company's. And I'm not talking about product reviews and giveaways solely, but also working with them to improve and revamp anything and everything they are working on or happen to encounter. I by no means am an expert, but I am a Mom, who has a pretty active lifestyle, and an even more active brain, that is always thinking up some idea or suggestion or helpful tip for just about anything.

So this Mixer, was certainly a place for me! I was excited! And the entire event did not disappoint one bit!

It started off with a round table discussion; bringing Brands and Bloggers together, to learn "how" to work together. Some key points brought up:

~ Expectations: What do we as bloggers expect from the brands and vice versa? We talked about how the bloggers (at least myself) wished brands would take the time to get to know us before pitching to us. There is seriously nothing worse than getting pitched something totally off the wall, that wouldn't even remotely pertain to that particular bloggers life. For example, don't send me an article of clothing for a 10 year old girl. I would never review it since my "test subjects" wouldn't be able to adequately use it. See what I am saying? Many of us have "About Me" pages with basic info. The point is, "Use It!". Brands were also mentioning how we need to make it MORE CLEAR what exactly we are about, and I TOTALLY get that. Not to mention, they want our contact info to be easily accessible.

~Brand Ambassador vs Brand Enthusiast; and is there a difference? You know, I never knew what the whole Ambassador deal was. But it was brought up how some people feel an Ambassador shouldn't be paid, because that kind of defeats the purpose of it all. But this is something I have been thinking of all day, and this is my take on the difference of the two. I think a Brand Ambassador can be paid or not paid, but is someone who believes in the product and knows anything and everything about it. But a Brand Enthusiast is someone who can also be paid or not paid (but is the one more likely of the two to maybe NOT be paid), but genuinely LOVE the product and would be willing to spread the joy of the product soley because the love it and not because they are getting paid to do so. I think honestly, I would be much more likely to believe an Enthusiast than an Ambassador. I really believe brands should be out there looking or REALLY monitoring their company emails, searching out people who would be a good fit to be an Enthusiast. I think an Ambassador may be meant to be more professional, than they are passionate.

We talked about SO MUCH MORE, but then we moved on to the "par-tay". Which really was more of a time for us to get some one on one face time with the brands. Seriously, I could name every company that was there, from memory, because it was THAT organized and orderly. Not to offend anyone, but here are some of my faves an why!

~Litl : Litl is an internet computer for the home and Jordan (Litl's Social Media Director) came up with a good discussion in the round table and I wanted to talk more with him about it. This time gave us the opportunity to throw around some ideas and suggestions, on both ends. Not to mention, the Litl computer is adorable and completely and totally functional, you MUST check it out! Oh, and did I mention, you can receive $100 off by going to litl.com/momdeal. You'll even get FREE shipping and a FREE remote!

~Ebay Classifieds : Well, I got a few moments to talk with Monica Friel, Founder of Chaos to Order who was there with Ebay Classifieds. I told her about my emotional attachment to the glider we used for our babies and how it just sits in our basement and I absolutely cannot get rid of it! She mentioned saving the cushion or remembering it through a photograph. She also cringed when I told her my way of organizing is to throw it in a box and toss it in the basement to "organize later". Yikes. I think I need Monica to come to my house and straighten me out don't you think?

~Schlage Inc : I will admit, I really wondered what kind of "relationship" a home security system and a mom blogger could create, but I found by talking to the Schlage people, there is a plethora of ideas shuffling in the brains of them and us, that could really work out.

And that's the beauty of it. I learned a ton that I knew nothing about, but I was really able to hold my own when it came down to discussing the key issues, and hey I was even able to slide in there some unique ideas of my very own. It was such a learning experience, on all ends this weekend. I REALLY hope to get a chance to attend events like these more often! Thanks SV Mom's for putting it together for us! You guys are the best!

Silicon Valley Moms Twitter Party

i am really excited because today I am attending the Silicon Valley Mom's Brand/Blogger Mixer today at the Hard Rock Hotel in Chicago. I am going to get a chance to meet some of my fellow writers over at Chicago Mom's Blog and other important people related to the Silicon Valley Moms Group, as well as a bunch of amazing brands.

But don't think that I get to have all the fun, because along with the event, the SV Moms Group is having a Twitter party tonight from 5p-7-EDT, too! They will be giving away TONS of prizes from the SV Moms sponsors, including a stay at the Chicago Hard Rock Hotel, IGO Power Smart Wall, spa goft baskets from 1-800 Baskets, and more! Be sure to use the hashtag #svmomschevy in order to be eligible. Winners will be selected at random.

And hey, why not subscribe to the SV Moms Group Newsletter? Where you'll find the best of the best posts on the 14 Silicon Valley Moms Sites. Never know, you might see one of my posts there someday.

Have fun tonight at the Twitter party. I'll be home late tonight, to tell you all about MY night too!

p.s. I am supposed to leave in less than an hour (I have some other stops in the city before heading to the Hard Rock), and I still have no idea what I am wearing! yikes!

My New Gig

I'm super excited to finally get to tell you about what i have been so excited about lately!

I have become a part of the Silicon Valley Mom's Group as a writer for the Chicago Mom's Blog! I'd love if you would jump on over there and take a look at my very first post, and even moreso, leave me a comment and let me know what you think!!!

My Perfect Night ~ Then & Now

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