Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Gritty Shade of Gray

This post was originally published at The Chicago Moms.

I feel like my mood is almost always a gritty shade of gray. The cold and gloom of the winter has never been my friend & year after year, I notice the significant mood change and drop of energy when the sun tucks itself away for days or weeks on end.  For some reason, this year is different, strangely, more difficult for reasons I have still been unable to pinpoint. Could it be the revolving door of sickness we have had linger on in our house? Or the medical news we received about my daughter (resulting two more years of wonder and worry)? Or is it the economy that has been extra hard on us this year?

I may never know the reason, but I am seeing the end result, and that is, my “issues” are affecting my kids, and I am simply not okay with that.
I want to not make excuses for why we don’t take advantage of the free admission days at The Museum of Science and Industry or The Shedd Aquarium. I want to take adventures and go explore places that we have never been. But the darkness looming overhead dampens my mood and sucks the life out of me. And I make excuses as to why doing such things are feasible.
“Maybe next week.”
“I don’t want Lily to get sick again.”
“We don’t have the money.”
These excuses should really say….
“Mommy can’t seem to get it together enough to do anything fun with you guys today…..or tomorrow….or next week.”
Have you ever been in such a funk you don’t know how to dig yourself out? What helped?

1 comment:

Toni said...

I get winter blues too...and they get worse year by year. Matter of fact, I start getting anxiety about winter in the middle of summer (silly, I know.) This year was particularly difficult...especially in December: mood swings, feeling worthless, crying for no reason. I know, for me personally, what goes into my mouth directly affects my mental & physical being. Since the start of 2011, I have slowly figured out how to afford organic food & eliminate processed food. Also, exercise will always lift my mental state (I often wonder why I stop?) Has it worked? My mood swings are gone, my energy is returning and I'm hopeful. Will that work for everyone? I dunno...but it's working for me and I'll take it :) *hugs*