Thursday, April 19, 2012

I try

It kinda seems like every single moment, hour, just flying by in the blink of an eye. There is always so much to do every day that I feel like I am barely keeping up most of the time. I feel like I am running a marathon, and I'm in last place. Like all of the other runners finished hours ago, and I am just hitting the halfway point.

I try my best to not compare, and most of the time, I am pretty good at it. I'm not worried about how other mom's do it....I am more concerned about how "I" am going to do it.

Things like kindergarten round-up, preschool field trips, working a full-time job, keeping house, paying bills, making appointments, taking phone calls. I feel like I suck at pretty much all of it. Oh, did I mention....throw a sick kid into the mix, and then....I have hit the bottom.

Only place to go is up right?

I am my own worst critic, as I assume most mom's are. Always feeling like we could do it better, or at least differently. And if we did, maybe we'd see a better outcome? Who knows. That's the thing. I'll never know, and it's one of my biggest struggles. Wondering if I could have done something different or worse off, "what if". I live my world with "what if's".

I've tried to do things to change this. And it's all the same, I try....I fail. I try again....I fail again.

I guess I just hope that when I have this all figured out, I will be in the midst of the "I try" part.

1 comment:

Valarie Nelson said...

I think you need to turn to someone who truly loves you, no matter what you do, someone that will accept you, no matter what you do, someone who will hold your hand through everything.....You know who I'm talking about...right?