Monday, May 23, 2011

Live in the Now and not the Future....


I asked my husband how it is he doesn't worry about things, like things that can/may/will occur in the future (this particular, and most conversations revolving this exact issue, is related to Lily's recurrent and ongoing sinus/allergies/unknown runny nose and cough medical situation).

Let me rewind a bit.

Last week we had an appointment for Lily with an allergy/asthma/immunology dr....the 3rd one we have seen since this all started the beginning of April. Each prior doctor either wasn't exactly what I was looking for....either not trustworthy or inexperienced in treating kids Lily's age or just all around not what I wanted when it came to my daughter's health care. And after last Thursday, and the severe coughing fits she was having that forced her to vomit all day long, I googled "pediatric allergy doctor" and found an allergy doctor, experienced with kids and who was associated with Children's Memorial in Chicago. FINALLY.

I called and was told the first available appointment was in 2 weeks.

I begged the receptionist to find a way to get her in. And instead of waiting the customary 2-3 weeks, and after speaking with the doctor directly, she got us in the following Monday. The receptionist also told us to not give her any anti-histamines since they might want to test her that day.

After another phone call with our pediatrician (literally, the only doctor I trust right now), we concluded that we had to give her something, so we gave her Zyrtec anyhow, with Delsym in hand in the event she just would not stop coughing (don't judge, I know I know the whole cough medicine and kids thing...but under the advice of a doctor, I felt comfortable giving it to her if needed). Over the next few days, she got better and it seemed to solidify my suspicion that allergies were the cause (oh, did I mention the day she was coughing and throwing up was the highest pollen and tree allergen count of the season?!).

We still went to the allergist that following Monday, and she agreed that giving Lily the Zyrtec was fine, and that we can test for most allergens (except food allergies, which they aren't suspecting at this time, and neither am I) by a blood test (which she CAN be on an anti-histimine for). She also checked out Lily thoroughly and found the start of an ear infection. This is actually a good thing in a way, because the doctor also wanted to find a way to see if this could possibly be a sinus infection (causing drainage that would cause the coughing and phlegm). And since the only way to know if it is a true sinus infection is to do a CT Scan, we could only play the guessing game of "give her an antibiotic and see what happens" (Lily would have to be sedated for a CT Scan and that is something the doctor nor I would allow).

It's been a week and Lily is much better, very very very minimal coughing. We have her on Zyrtec daily (which yes, I am not a fan of, but she is far less miserable this way) and find out of Wednesday the results of the blood test. If she IS allergic to this nasty seasonal allergy mess we have going on, then we will stick to the daily Zyrtec and hope it gets her through until her "allergy season" (the season in which her allergies are present) is over, then take her off and wait until her "season" returns, and hope and pray she outgrows it. If she is NOT allergic to any of the things they tested her for I'm not sure what we will do. We may or may not take her off the Zyrtec. We may play the wait and see game to see if she has another coughing fit. It's hard to tell.

You see, I am a "find the problem then we fix it" kind of girl. I like to know what's going and do whatever I have to do to make it better. So these medical mysteries we've been dealing with have been hard on me. It truly enhances my worry and anxiety over it all. I have a hard time looking at Lily and thinking she's going to be fine, even when she is acting and feeling perfectly fine. I worry about the next coughing fit, the next time she is sick, the next time we have to go to the doctor. I have a hard time living in the present and being content with how it is right now. This is something many other people CAN do, my husband and family members especially. I don't know how and I wish I did.

Do you have any tips or advice? Something to make me worry less and be happy with the NOW? I'd love your input!

1 comment:

Christine said...

Jen,
I am right there with you. I caught a chest cold three weeks ago and Lili caught it from me two weeks ago. She has been better except that nagging cough that comes especially when we are outside. Just before she got sick we thought she had allergies because she was a mess anytime she went outside.

I also need to know exactly what is going on with her. My fiancee thinks I need to chill out and let her get over whatever she has, but she is not getting any better. So I would also love some tips on how to live In the now.

Christine