Monday, June 22, 2009

Nearly 4 months...

It's not hard very for me to remember what it was like to be mama to one. Things were predictable, less complicated, and easily fixable. There were breaks, and down time, and regular intervals of quiet in the house. That was less than 4 months ago.

4 months? It's really been nearly 4 whole months since I gave birth to my baby girl. It's been 4 almost 4 months since I last laid in my bed, took a nap, took a bath, read a book? Yeah that's right, almost 4 months.

I was in the middle of cleaning up our living room just a few minutes ago when I thought to myself exactly how poignant I have begun to feel over the in's and out's of daily life. I was picking up a coloring book and crayons off of the coffee table. The exact coffee table that once was covered with various large pieces of paper for Jonah to color on, an activity that held his interest quite successfully for days on end right after Lily was born.

Then I started to think, "How is it that I actually have 'memories' of when Lily was a 'baby'?" It hasn't even been 4 months! Oh my gosh, it's already been 4 months!

So these sleepless nights, days when I don't get to my laptop until 10 o'clock at night, the times when I can't believe how messy and cluttered our living room is, and those times when I sit down to go to the bathroom and think to myself that "I've really got to get to cleaning this toilet!" are only temporary. I won't be putting a binky back into a sleepy baby's mouth forever, I won't be hanging off the edge of my bed because a toddler has wedged his way in between his Daddy and me until he is 18 years old. I won't be washing baby bottles or looking for "lost" baby monitors until the day I die.

But what I will have is a loving family, a gorgeous, beautiful, daughter, and handsome, charming son, to call my own until the end of time.

So today, I am treasuring sloppy kisses from my boy and sharo little baby nails digging into my arm as she holds on for dear life. I am okay with spit up on my shirt and dirt beneath my toenails, because it means I am spending all my time and all of my love right in the heart of this thing we call family.

And when those days are so hard I can barely stand it, or when it is so difficult to keep my eyes awake during a 1am feeding, I am remembering that there will be a day when they will be grown up and gone, and those sloppy kisses and spit up on my shoulder will forever be distant memories inside my soul.

I simply can't bare to think of those days, so for now, I am living them, in the moment, because it is ever so special to be right where I am. I am the luckiest Mommy in the world.

And no matter how hard or time consuming ot utterl

1 comment:

Mommie Daze said...

Oh, so true! Everything else can wait. I have a four year old son and a 7 week old son. I know just how you feel.