today...every day

My days are filled with activities and actions that all reflect complete and total pure survival. I shower every couple of days. I just realized I haven't brushed my teeth since Monday morning. There are AT LEAST 6 loads of unfolded laundry on our bed (good thing the hubby and i don't sleep in our own bed). The toilets are starting to have that "really need to be cleaned" look. No one in this house eats anything healthy. I can't remember the last time I actually MADE dinner. We eat out a lot and if we eat at home, consists of cereal, ravioli, lunch meat, and anything easy and microwavable.

I will say my biggest fear is the eating issues around here. Not necessarily for myself (although I should since I am breastfeeding again) or for my hubby, but for our two year old son. Seriously, the word he says the most is "chocolate". Of course, we attempt to limit the sweets, but again, life around here is about sheer survival right now. I wish I had it in me to make meals, to have the money to get good foods to make good meals, but who am I kidding?!?! Even if I had the food in this house, I wouldn't have the time to make anything. Hopefully, as time goes on life will get a bit easier and I will actually start cooking meals again. I have too, because I don't want my kids growing up on McDonald's and Pizza Hut. I want them to look back and remember that I made good meals, because before I know it, dinner time may be the only time I actually see my kids.

I did get a chance to vaccum yesterday, and I cleaned ONE of the THREE toilets in our house. I got dishes done and even pulled out 3 boxes of old clothes from Jonah so I could find some to pass on to my sister and her llittle boy.

A good friend of mine, Carrington from Capri by the Lake, once said to me "Don't set any expectations." and I think it was the best thing I could have ever heard. Because that way, if I don't set any expectations, then I can't be disappointed. I must admit, it's hard, because I am sort of a busy body. I like to have the house clean and orderly and I hate surprises. Well, being a mama to 2 children, the odds of those things being the norm right now is pretty slim.