Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I know I am going to look back on these days and laugh at how emotional and worked up I become over such things as lack of sleep and squished blueberries on the carpet. i know that the kids will continue to grow up at unbelieveable rates, and I will wonder where all the time has gone. I know I will miss the times when the three of us would just sit here and watch tv and play.

But why is it SO HARD RIGHT NOW? Why do I break down because the boy has such a hard time sleeping due to us bringing home the baby? Why is it I can't get over the fact that she keeps grunting, sounding like she is gassy and has a belly ache? Why can't I just get over all of this and be the mom I know I can be? Why do I cry so much? Why is it I miss my husband SO MUCH when before the birth of our daughter all he did was get on my nerves?

I feel so torn between feeling sorry for myself, which frankly is the easier of the two, or sucking it up, and being the mom I know I need to be for them.

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