Monday, October 20, 2008

Parenting Advice? Bring it on!

I am in a bit of a situation here.

Lately, such as in the last week or so, the Boy has been extra, extra clingy to me. I seriously cannot even leave the room without a severe crying fest coming from him. This includes quick trips to the bathroom, or to run downstairs to do some laundry. And there is NO WAY I can escape for some MUCH NEEDED alone time for even a 2o minute nap, and certainly NOT a night out with the girls. I of course, am not leaving him attended, someone else is always there with him...Daddy, Grandma, etc....I mean, it's always someone he knows very well.

As a result, I feel as though I am going insane. Constantly on the verge of a breakdown. I am in desperate need of "coming up for air". And with the fact that I am over 20 weeks pregnant now, the thought in the back of my mind that another little bundle will be in our lives soon, will this sort of attachment hopefully fade away? I mean, how is he going to react to a new baby taking up my time, as well as normal, daily household chores?

And I don't want you all to take this all the wrong way. I LOVE feeling "needed" and "loved", it is seriously what it's all about right? But sometimes, and especially lately, and especially because it has been ongoing, every single day, all day long for days and days on end, I feel extremely overwhelmed and smothered. I feel like I simply cannot do anything without him being so upset and distraught. It's gotten to the point where Daddy cannot even put him to bed, or comfort him enough to get him to go back to sleep in the middle of the night. It's taking a toll on our marriage and taking a toll on my sanity. I feel so guilty just trying to take a relaxing bath, when I can hear him crying at the gate at the bottom of the steps.

So, you seasoned Mama's out there. Tell me, is this normal behavior for a 19 month old boy? Or is something going on that I am not sensing? Am I a bad mom for needing some time for "me"? WHAT DO I DO?

A few side notes, that might have something to do with it are:
1. He may be still teething, his 2 year molars that is.
2. He is like this whether he is fully rested or not.
3. He is also not eating as well as he usually does.
4. He has been easily irritated lately. Things that normally don't bother him, are now catastrophic.
5. I think his winter-time eczema is returning.

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks so much!

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Lynette said...

Do not allow yourself to feel guilty for giving yourself the most needed gift of alone time. You need that "reset" mode so that you can be refreshed and give your family your best. Don't be afraid to ask (or even demand) for Mommy time every day. It's healthy. Sounds like your boy is just going through a phase and the teeth could be a major trigger. This too shall pass.

lynnsdecor said...

My only child ( a girl) just turned two, and I'm afraid I am NOT a seasoned mom. My girl has been like that since some days I handle it better than others. My hubby works 12-14 hour shifts, so I have to deal.
But, For most kids, from what I hear, it is a phase and will pass.
Plus I think kids know more than we give them credit for. Believe it or not, he can sense the new baby and knows something is about to change in his world.
Just another adventure to learn and grow for everyone.
Also, I think anyone who has more than one kid is a saint. I couldn't do it.