Wednesday, June 18, 2008

MY Father's Day

On Father's Day last week, we went to the city to visit the hubby's brother and his wife. We of course took JM, and the hubby's mom and dad came too. After a much fun day of just hagning out and spending some good quality family time (as well as Jonah FINALLY starting to walk....a lot!), the hubz and I, the boy, and the uncle and the aunt went out to eat. Now, I am not going to spend too much time on how much the waitress sucked or how she spilled a beer on Todd and didn't even give him one for free, but I am going to spend time on something that made me feel good.

We sat outside for our dinner, where we were surrounded by plants and trees and flowers that JM just had to touch. JM is a touchy feely kinda kid, always exploring and discovering and be all around curious. This is a trait in him that I absolutely adore. I can see his mind working all the time while he is tring to figure out all sorts of stuff. So when his curiousity led to his touching the flowers and the dirt, I didn't shoo him away immediately. I allowed him to touch it and feel it between his fingers all the while saying "gentle". And he knows what gentle means. I explained to him hy he had to be gentle and why the dirt was important to the life of the flowers and the trees and plants and how it was important for the flowers to keep their buds.

I talk to JM like this because I don't believe in yelling at him. This has become a philosophy that I now live by. I personally don't think that if I yelled at him it would do any good. I want him to be able to learn as much as possible, without pushing him. And I admit, sometimes, the not yelling philosophy is tough to always go by, I can get frustrated and stressed, but I always try to remember that he is a little person, with feelings, and a heart, and a personality....all his own.

So as JM and I were touching the dirt, and putting it back where it belonged and I told him about the flowers and what kinds and colors they were, this older couple was apparently watching us. As we were walking away, back to the table (and JM was walking all his own...and I kept whispering "focus" to try and get him to pay attention to his feet and not the surrounding distractions) the older man said to me "it's really beautiful how you talk to him and tell him about the flowers and how you let him touch them, but don't let him destroy them. so many parents will just let their children destroy things, but you teach him the right way." I responded with, "aw, thank you. yeah, i teach him to respect everything". Later that same man came up, and gave JM a small leafy branch he found on the ground and told him "it's okay that you have this, it was already off of the tree". It was good to get that recognition, it was a nice warm fuzzy, even though it was father's

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