3+1=4

The "Day of Pray" didn't go so well. After an evening of being up on and off, numerous midnight baths, and feeling all around sick, I was forced to eat a bit here and there, to keep myself from throwing up. Yet, everytime I ate, I felt the guilt. What if out there somewhere, someone was feeling exactly how I was, but was unable to obtain the food needed to make it all better? I feel like a disappointment, to myself, to all of you, and to God. I let myself down, but more so, I let Him down.

Now, not all was lost on that rainy, chilly, feeling kind of yucky day. You see, the hubby made a prediction. After the hour or so of the middle of the nught quiziness, he says "I bet your pregnant". I joke. I laugh. I giggle. "Ah, no." Yet the ickiness follwed me all day long. Am I getting the flu? I swear, if I get the flu right before our 4 year anniversay (on the 3rd) and the most awesome holiday of the year (the 4th) I'll be really mad. So, for giggles, on my way home from the crappy pool party we attended, I stopped at the store. I was able to get a sleeping JM into the stroller, go to Jewel and get a big box of diapers and a pregnancy test without waking him up! I was thinking to myself, "If I have another baby, how would I be able to go to the store and buy diapers? I wouldn't have enough hands!" We get home and the boy is still asleep in the car, so I run inside to the bathroom real quick, go potty, take the test, then go out and get him. He is still asleep, so I lay him on the floor in the living room. I go back to the test that is sitting on the hutch in the bathroom, and low and behold, what do I see? This...

2 PINK LINES!


Yes friends, I am pregnant. This is great! We were wanting to have another baby, but weren't really "planning" it. Just sort of waiting for it to happen. And it did. We are ecstatic. The hubby immediately says "I need a new job!", "I need to finish the basement!", "JM needs a big boy bed!" It was amusing. Once I saw the 2 pink lines, my mind starting thinking of what this pregnancy was going to be like. You see, my last pregnancy was not so good. Lots of sickness, all around anxiety, fear, scariness. I didn't know what I was in for. I have NEVER changed a diaper before JM. But now, I can safely say, I'm ready for this. Yeah, this will be a little different with 2 baby's, but I can do it. I want to do it. and I will do it.

Here it is, the American Dream. And I am so excited to be living it.