Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I am who i with it.

Ugh....this funk just won't shake. And I am starting to really evaluate how I need to be dealing with it. Wallowing and worrying over every little thing just isn't cutting it any more. Because honestly, who really believes actually doing those things makes a difference? Am I just overly paranoid? Does it really matter anymore? This is the deal, I am me. I am who I am. Whether I am in a funk or not. Whether I say something or not. Whether I have a smile on my face or not. Whether I am the person you want me to be or not. Whether you understand me or not. You're gonna love me for me or hate me for me. And at this point, it doesn't matter to me which is which. Maybe I need to take my med's on a regular basis. Maybe I need to get rid of this ridiculous thing called the internet and really focus on what's important. Maybe I need to weed out the bad and cling to the good. I'm not asking you to come to my rescue, I am just asking for a little understanding.

I don't know what I'm saying.


post signature


Not Just Any Jen said...

Oh, Jen. Sounds rough. Somedays, I actually turn my computer off and vow to not use it until....some point in the day, like after the kids sleep or whatever. Turn the TV OFF week is coming, so maybe just apply it here. I know what you are experiencing here is bigger than this, and I can so relate to how you are feeling. I hope things get cleared for you soon.

Carrington said...

Hey hun, sorry you are going through a hard time. Seek the Lord to find out who you are IN HIM. He will tell you that you are valuable beyond anything, priceless, and a beautiful creation. Trust Him, when He calls you lovely. You are because HE LOVES you. So, no matter what anyone else thinks, you have value in the Lord's eyes, and belief in that will give you strength, hope, and joy.