here it is.

I write as my husband sits on the couch eating his lunch, my son is crawling around on the floor with a toy car (and hacking up a lung every 2 seconds), and I am thinking I should probably be doing something far more "productive" than blogging. But this is what I am good at, procrastinating and making excuses for not keeping my house clean.

Jonah's birthday (and his party) is this weekend, and I am concerned that he may not be well enough to actually have the party. Just this morning, I remembered that I didn't order his birthday cake yet and I haven't gotten the ingredients to make his "smash cake" (some may think I am crazy, but I am just not ready to make his birthday cake be his first introduction to eggs. I went to Wiseway, and got some vegan cake mix and egg replacement, so I could make it for him myself). We also have his 1 year pictures scheduled for tomorrow, which I am of course cancelling. There is no way he would be up for all of that.

And seriously, I don't think any of us would be up for it, or anything else in the next few days that is. Jonah has this interna;l clock, where after 6pm and before 8:30am, he is a completely different child. Extremely irritable, crabby, and just plain sickly. It takes a toll on a mama and a papa. Sleeping more than 45 minutes straight is non-existent (unless you have an amazing hubby like mine who sent me off to bed and let me sleep for 3 hours straight while he took care of Jonah). And let's just say, any one else trying to take care of Jonah besides me is pretty much not allowed. And not by my choice that is. Jonah is premanently attached to my hip at all times when he isn't feeling well. He won't go to anyone else, won't let me sit or lay down, and won't let me out of his site...even to use the potty. Don't get me wrong, I love being the thing his entire world revolves around, but even mama's need a break. Since he does okay during the day, I am planning on running out, if even for a bit, by myself. I am thinking about going to K-Mart (literally 2 minutes from my house) and maybe tanning. I know, I know...I swore off tanning a while ago, but really I feel like I need it, and so do my pale legs that will look quite sickly in my bright yellow Easter dress on Sunday. The sun always make me feel better, and well...look outside, I ain't gettin' to natural sunlight today! Actually, when I was 17, I was diagnosed with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Then, later in life, they figured out my anxiety and depression wasn't only related to those gloomy winter months, but all 365 days of the year. I have since overcome the depression for the most part, but struggle with an anxiety problem. Let's just say, you really would only want to be around me on the days i REMEMBER to take my medicine (the crazy pills is what I call thme). And I am pretty sure you can tell what days I have taken them and what days I haven't. They truly are THAT powerful.

Anyways, so Jonah has something called Bronchiolitis and/or the Flu. I hate the idea, but they prescribed him a medication, Albuterol to be exact. We gave him his first dose a few hours ago. I haven't seen any improvement, but the the doc says it might be a few days. We'll see.

okay, blah blah blah...I gots things to do.

Later.