top 10 items that every new mom needs that she doesn't really know she needs

I had a baby shower when I was pregnant with my first child. I got all the essentials and basics that I needed (or more so, THOUGHT i needed) and was left with plenty of other odds and ends items to spare. I of course ended up with a swing, a bouncy seat, the bedding set, clothing, bottles, binkies, blankies...I'm sure you understand. But as those first few days and weeks went by at home with a new baby, I had found there were plenty of baby items I didn't receive, or never even thought about, or frankly never even KNEW about at the time. So here, I am compiling a list of the "top 10 items that every new mom needs that she doesn't really know she needs". And please, feel free to add along any items you feel should be added to this list (or would be on your own top 10 list!). Be sure to add links and URL's so we can all find your items on the web or in a store somewhere.

1. Exergen Temporal Artery Thermometer

photo from Exergen.com

I was a bit of a "Fever Fanatic" when the kids were little (if you ask hubby, I'm sure he will say that I still am), but when the kids had even slight fever's, I wanted to monitor them closely. Our pediatrician uses the medical grade version of this Exergen Temporal Artery Thermometer, and when I found out I could buy this one at Walmart, I was all over it. The price isn't even that bad, you can find for about $30 just about anywhere.

2. Colic Calm

photo from coliccalm.com

This stuff should really be called "Miracle in a Bottle" and if you have ever used it then you know EXACTLY why. And it isn't just for "Colicky" babies either, SO many babies are gassy, we all know that. Colic Calm is an all-natural homeopathic product (that IS FDA regulated), safe for babies of all ages and works like a charm. It IS a little messy to dispense and will stain clothing, so I always gave it to the babies when they were only wearing a diaper, but I'd rather throw out a shirt or onesie and have a happy baby who would sleep any day!  I always tell those skeptics out there to try it, it's all natural, and even if it DOESN'T work, what do you have to lose? This stuff calmed BOTH of my babies whenever they were gassy, had upset tummies, hiccups, or even when I wasn't sure what was wrong with them. Like I said, MAGIC!

3. Sling

photo taken by Steph Precourt

There are SO MANY slings out there and the only way you will know what works best for you and your baby/child is to try them out. This is a picture of the very first time I "wore" Jonah. I met expert babywearer, Stephanie from Adventures in Babywearing at a park nearby (can you believe we live within 15 minutes of each other?!) and she showed me all sorts of slings and how to wear them. I know there are many babywearing groups all over the country, find one and try out the slings with your own baby, because the right sling can make all the difference. And YES, you can wear a newborn, and I highly recommend it! Check out The BabyWearer for all sorts of info, and of course, Steph's blog, Adventures in Babywearing!

4. Haba Pacifier Clip

photo from pacifieronline.com

I know there are a variety of pacifier clips on the market, but when you see the Haba Pacifier Clip, you will see that there is NO COMPARISON. The Haba Clip is made of solid, non-toxic painted wood characters and shapes all along the length of the rope holding the clip to the pacifier. And since it is not a solid, single ribbon, they can make the strap longer, making it so much easier to clip on to the car seat and allows the baby to move freely without the pacifier plopping out of his mouth when he turns his head. Trust me, this is a big deal! When you are driving and the baby starts wailing from the backseat for his binky, you need to find it, and fast. This clip makes it easy and simple to keep that binky within arms (and mouths) reach. It is a definite lifesaver for a traveling mama and baby!

5. Onesie Extenders

photo from onestepahead.com

Lily was a chubby baby. She had a chubby belly and thighs from out of this world! So It was hard to find onesies that fit her. In order to make a regular onesie fit her thighs it had to be MANY sizes bigger just to accommodate. With these extenders, I was able to fit her into onesies much easier. These also help extend the life of your onesies, especially if you have tall, skinny babies. We all know how fast kids grow, this helps slow down the process just a little bit.

6. Aden & Anias Muslin Swaddling Blankets

photo from adenandanias.com

Lily overheated so badly as a baby. Even in the dead of winter, she would be sleeping in a short-sleeved onesie

7. Arms Reach Co-Sleeper

photo from armsreach.com

I was kind of neurotic when it came to obsessing over my newborn babies. I had to have them close-by, at all times. This included while they were sleeping. I knew when I had Lily I wanted a way to keep her close from night number 1 at home, so before she was born I bought this co-sleeper. It was the best decision I ever made. I was able to raise it up to sit flush with the height of our bed, so she had her own place to sleep and I had her by my side. This works well also for breastfed babies since you can just pull the baby close, feed him/her and not have to rustle yourself or the baby getting up and down and moving all about. I know having a baby this close isn't for everyone, and I can respect that. But this worked best for us, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

8. Dr Maurice Eisensteins book, "Don't Vaccinate Before You Educate"

photo from homefirst.com

My husband and I had many questions regarding vaccinations when we had Jonah. We researched a lot and made decisions based on our own beliefs. I am not telling you (or anyone for that matter) that you shouldn't vaccinate your children, all I think is that parents should be fully educated and knowledgable about what a vaccine is comprised of and what the components are used for. This book helps with that sort of information. All parents make decisions based on what is best for themselves and their kids, and we are lucky enough to live someplace where we have the ability and right to do so. 

9. Graco Baby iMonitor Duo Room

photo from amazon.com

Unfortunately, I am having a really hard time finding this particular monitor set right now. Luckily, we purchased ours right before Lily was born and I can be honest with you and say it was the best purchase we ever made, hands down. To be able to monitor TWO kids rooms simultaneously has made my life so much easier. I am lucky, most days, both kids nap at the same time, leaving me a few moments to run around the house and do housework or even go sit on the porch and read a book. Without these monitors I would never be able to do that. I can use them in so many different ways it is amazing. I could not live without these monitors, honestly, no one with two kids under 5 years old should have to. If  I can find them anywhere, I will certainly update this post. I think it is a shame Graco discontinued them, they were the ONLY multi-room monitors I could find!

10. Smart Phone

photo from appleinsider.com

Rocking a baby to sleep can be peaceful and heartwarming. But let's be real, it can be boring and tedious as well. If I didn't have my iPhone to keep me company on those many of night that baby just wanted to be rocked or bounced to just plain held for hours on end, I'd go crazy. Not to mention it has become quite an entertainment tool for my kids too. With access to videos and games, I can entertain my now 2 and 4 year old's to no end. I was able to catch up on emails, text, and twitter, all while putting the baby to sleep. I know, some will say i should have treasured that time more, and i DID. But those hours were loooooong.

The Next Karate Kid

Jonah has been attending karate classes for a month now. Twice a week, with a variety of kids in his age range (4-5 year old), both boys and girls. I'll be honest with you, I only went along with it because Jonah seemed really interested, AND the school allows you to attend the entire first month for free, to see if the kids like it, before you toss the $$ down the drain for all the goods that go along with doing karate. Well, one class in, and this kid was hooked. So many things that the instructor went over seemed to resonate with Jonah, and the constant repetition of "following directions" and "teaching respect" showed me that this karate thing is a whole lot more than kicking and hitting. Don't get me wrong, even now, I still am trying to figure out how to get a 4 year old to clearly understand that there is a specific time and place for karate techniques (and head-butting your sister is certainly not one of those), but I do believe as time goes on and he begins to live karate, instead of just attend a class a few times a week, these things will become second nature. I am already seeing the respect and maturity slowly emerge from Jonah at home. It's nice, and scary, too.

Jonah is a people-pleaser. It's just his way. But a result of this is that he is also more of a follower than a leader, and this holds true while in karate class as well. I have found (as this was prevalent when he was going to preschool too), that if the other kids are calm and behaving, Jonah normally will too. And the same thing goes for if there are other "energetic" and "rowdy" kids around him too, which is far more likely to occur at karate....and it does. (I will be the first to say that my kid is NOT perfect and there are plenty of times when he acts and does things he shouldn't, in all aspects of his life. But rarely is he the root the chaos, if you know what I mean. I don't know these other kids situations, if they are just hyper or have some other medical issues causing the energy, and I won't judge, at all.) The other day, there were only 5 kids in class, all boys (we sometimes have 10-12 kids in class, with a few girls tossed in to the mix), but this particular day, not many kids were there. One kid started getting rowdy, then they all followed in and it became an out of control mess. Kids not listening. Rough-housing. Jumping all over. Being disrespectful. Not aggressive, just extremely out of control and overly energetic. They were having fun. TOO MUCH fun to be exact!

And I was torn! I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to under mind the instructor. I almost always stay back and even if Jonah gets a little too rowdy or doesn't say "Yes Sir" or forgets to bow at the right time (and so on and so on....), I leave those 30 minutes up to the instructor. All of us parents are sitting in the room, so I feel if it got extremely out of hand he would call upon us to intervene. And maybe that's what he should have done this time. Thrown in the towel and left us up to disciplining them. But he didn't. And frankly, I think he was a bit too lenient on them. I would have been fine with Jonah having to do some sort of exercise or stand at attention for 5 minutes, to aid in teaching him a lesson. Obviously, I did not take Jonah out of class and have a "long, hard talk with him", I waited until class was over, and immediately went over what he had done that was unacceptable, what he could do differently next class, and that if this behavior continued, that he would no longer be allowed to go to karate school. I could see in his eyes he knew he had done wrong, and I left it at that. Two days later, class time came again, and I made sure in the car ride to the school we discussed it again, as well as having a quick pep talk directly before class to make sure it sank in.

It seemed to work, because as all the other kids were running around at the beginning of class, Jonah went directly to the line and stood "At Show" for a good minute or two, waiting for class to start. He also the only student in the class to answer some questions the instructor asked ("What are the 7 signs of respect?" ~ 'Yes Sir, No Sir, Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, Please, Thank You, You're Welcome').

So, what would you have done? Would you have handled this situation any differently?

My First Mickey Mouse Tears

Being a Mom means I get to experience a lot of “Firsts”. First words, first steps, first tooth; you get the picture. And recently, I got to experience another first with my two kids, our “First Vacation”.

Last year, we put in to works, the plans to take our now 15 month old daughter and our 3 year old son to Disney World. We weighed the pro's and con's of attempting a trip like this with our kids being so young, and wondered exactly how much of it they would actually remember and/or enjoy. But we came to the conclusion that the memories we would be creating, all the way around, would be memorable (not to mention the pictures and videos we would take to show the kids as they got older would help them remember too) to them AND us. We weren't traveling alone, we planned this trip with my husband's parents and his brother and his wife too. So we knew we would have ample help keeping an eye on the kids and making sure everyone got as much as possible out of the trip.

The kids were great on the plane, and the anticipation of getting to “Mickey's House” was insurmountable for our son. I just knew that he “got it” and that he knew what was happening. It was awesome.

Now, I am not generally a big softie. It takes a lot for a mushy movie to make me cry or for a sweet card to bring me to tears. I am able to hold on to my tough exterior most of the time. BUT....when it comes to just about anything with my kids, particularly those magical “firsts”, I am an emotional wreck. A lot. All of the time. Some find it comical, but most find it sweet.

I cried the first time my son saw Barney. I almost smacked MYSELF for being such a dorky Mom.

But seeing Mickey Mouse, THE Mickey Mouse that we have been talking about for months and months and months; THE Mickey Mouse that can be found on many items that decorate my son's big boy bedroom; yeah, I cried. Right there in front of Cinderella's Castle during the Move It! Shake It! Celebrate It! Street Party. There we were, dancing a mere 5 feet from THE Mickey Mouse. And that moment that my son saw him for the first time, was a moment that is now embedded in my heart for the rest of my life. His jaw dropped, his eyes widened, and shortly there after, he began to dance to the music. It sounds cliché, but it was simply magical. It wasn't the 'first' time I cried at a moment like this during this very vacation, but it was the first time my heart sparkled and shined, and it kept on sparkling and shining the rest of the trip. There is something about moments like those, when your child is so completely and utterly vulnerable to be able to experience a moment with such joy, and the fact that as a mother, there is nothing more amazing than being able to experience it right along with them, that makes it (you guessed it) magical.

We will visit Disney World again some day, and the kids will be older, and the impressions they will receive on THAT trip will vary quite vastly from the impressions they received on this trip. THE Mickey Mouse most likely will not fascinate them like he does now. Rides like “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” and “It's a Small World” may make them feel tortured instead of tender-hearted. So this “First” was a very special “First”. And it is a “First” of many “Firsts” that made me shed happy tears. Magical, Mickey Mouse tears.

Originally posted to the Chicago Moms Blog on May 31, 2010.

this day

I read him to sleep again tonight. The words of "Guess How Much I Love You?" and "Kiss Goodnight" soothe my soul as I ever so slowly recite the same words I have been reciting to him each and every single night for the last few weeks. Even after days like today, when I am pushed to my limit and I am straining myself to make it to the end of the day, I find myself engulfing the words of these teeny tiny board books. These books hold the depth and meaning of the relationship between a my son and I.

We had a busy weekend, pushed the kids further than usual. We spent time at our family's houses, the kids ate too much candy, and I spent a majority of my days making sure Lily didn't fall down a flight of stairs at both my mother and my husband's parents house. She is so fast and determined and fearless. Those flights of stairs she has nearly plummeted down over and over and over today were my arch enemy. It is exhausting.

I snapped a few times, I had had it. I definitely would not have won Mother of the Year today, that's for sure (or any other award relating to being a wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, etc.....) I was a crab.

So time to buck up little solider. Pick myself back up. Brush myself off. Start over again tomorrow.

At least there aren't any stairs to encounter tomorrow.

LIVEBLOGGING~ Transition to the Big Boy Bed

I posted about the Big Boy Bed and decided to attempt to live blog how the transition to the bed goes:

10:00pm Due to the time change, bedtimes have been a bit later than usual. The last couple of months have been rough, with Jonah's constant fight to get him to bed, it isn't surprising when he doesn't go to bed until 10pm anyhow. So if TODAY'S 10pm, is really like 9pm, then I feel like we are doing well.

10:15pm 3 books have been read; one in particular titled Bedtime. I think this is a great book as we can make up our own story to it and it shows lots of pictures of bedtime routines and a BIG BOY going to sleep in his own bed. We said our prayers and talked a little more about being a Big Boy and the potential for a present the next morning. He says he wants a "book" as his present. I told him I thought that was a great idea. I kiss him goodnight and tell him I will be on the computer just outside of his room (we have a little desk just in the hallway nook at the top of his stairs). And this time it worked! Usually he would NEVER let me leave, so this was an amazing monumental sign! He didn't even "need" the TV on. It was perfect.

10:25pm Sound asleep. I am in awe and amazement. MAYBE this is it?!

1:45am I folded laundry, took a bath, and wrote a post all while the kids slept. It was amazing. The hubby and actually spent some time together. We had forgotten what that was like. So I hit the hay around midnight. I will intentionally leave out how bad of a sleeper Lily has been these last few nights, because its not pretty. BUT Jonah made it until 1:45am! He did cry quite a bit, and it took a lot of soothing and talking and holding (in his bed with me kneeling next to the bed) to calm him down. I even pulled out the Bedtime book. I got him back to lay down and was able to leave the room with him still awake as long as I promised I was just right at the computer (makes liveblogging easy don't you think?)

7am NO WAY! He slept until 7am!? I a shocked and stunned and amazed. IT almost seems too easy! He even woke up in a pretty good mood. Which is rare too, because I believe due to lack of good quality sleep his in a cranky mood. Really I am truly amazed at how well this went. I don't want to get too excited though. Tomorrow could be a whole different story.....but i really hope not.

The Big Boy Bed

It's been a long time comin'.

Since Jonah was 2 1/2, I have been truly waiting for this day. The day he got his BIG BOY bed. Now, don't me wrong; I love my boy and want nothing more than to keep him my "Lil' Man" forever and ever. But 2 1/2 years (at that time.....*cough* it's now been THREE!) of sleepless nights; most co-sleeping; either in his bed or ours, but every night is as predictable as a broken record. The wakings.....he wakes up; very often. sometimes as small as 2-3 times a night. Sometimes it is every 1/2 hour. If we are co-sleeping, he is generally back asleep fairly quickly. We can "shush" him and tell him to lay down, and he does. That doesn't make it any less exhausting; he is still waking up over and over and over and over.....

So when he was 2 1/2, we started talking it up.

"When you turn 3, you're gonna get a BIG BOY bed. And it will be so exciting and you can have a Mickey Mouse blanket and pillow...."

and we pretty much promised him the world. Anything that would get him to sleep in his bed; alone, we would give him, or promise him.

I have officially promised:

~a present if you sleep all night in your own bed, by yourself like a BIG BOY.

~various other important figures in his life have promised him similar things

~a party. Yes, a party~ with balloons, and a cake, and presents

those things seemed appealing to him. And sometimes he'd bite and run with it and be excited; and some times, when he sort of "figured it out" he changed his tone and refused the meer idea of it.

So today was the day and tonight was the night (I know he isn't three until Monday, but give me a break; we made it THIS FAR.....). Todd and Jonah put together his BIG BOY bed. He was excited and loved it and jumped right in.

But the deal is; ONLY Jonah can sleep in that bed. I mean there is only ONE pillow, so no one else can fit. PLUS, that bed is only for BIG BOY's and Daddy is a DADDY, not a BIG BOY and Mommy is a MOMMY, not a BIG BOY.

I am planning on liveblogging the transition tonight. Wish us luck. And cross your fingers for us!