Tuesday, July 6, 2010

"That" Mom

Before I had kids, I was severely judgmental. And I have no problem admitting it now, because since I have had kids, I have severely changed.

I judged everything. I judged nearly anyone and everyone. I judged parents. Particularly, I judged "That" Mom.

*In enters my first child*

Once I had kids, I was the one with the messy house. I was the one with the screaming kid in the store. I was the one with the spit-up stained clothes. I turned into "That" Mom.

And I tried to SO HARD to be as "perfect" as those other mom's. Those one's that had spotless floors, perfectly J. Crew dressed kids without a wrinkle on the them, and $100 pristine crisp, white shirts for themselves. They never got in to fights with their husbands, their pet's never tore up their houses, their laundry was always clean, folded, and neatly hanging in color-coordinated, perfectly organized and sorted closets. They always had the latest cool diaper bag, they always had the coolest new gadget, and their kids always had the coolest new toys.

These things made me anxious and nervous and angry.

And then it came to me. I started to realize that all of those things that I used to think were so important weren't important. And they never needed to be important. Because getting a chance to raise my children. Treasuring the moments I am able to see those smiles and hear those giggles, are far more important than that what other's think of us.

And why do we do it to one another? And even moreso, why do we care? What is it about today's society that has done this to us? Is it the media? And if so, why can't we conquer it and prove that those happy mom's cleaning up a teeny tiny spill in their absolutely perfect, bright, white kitchen's are NOT REAL. And never will be real. And shouldn't be real (because seriously, as a mom, aren't there better things to be doing than obsessing over a shiny kitchen?).

So now, when I see dustballs forming in corners of a home with kids, i understand.

And when I see a kid with a stained shirt and a dirty face, i understand that that mother pick's her battles, and cleaning a screaming kids face just wasn't worth it that day.

And when I see a mom, wearing the same 2 shirts every time I see her because every other piece of clothing has been ruined or stained in one way or another, I understand.

And I want to hug her. And say "I'm right there with you".

And if you come over to my house and see that the kids have yet again pulled off all the couch cushions to make a "road" or to jump on the springy part, realize I decided to let them be creative and carefree and fun instead of being a dull and boring mommy.

Or if they have yet again taken every single can/box out of the cabinet, realize that I have chosen my battle, and changing their diapers won over fighting with them about making a castle out of the cans of peas.

And if you see me wearing the same shirt/dress I wore many, many times before, realize I may not have had the time to wash my clothes, or more likely, I only own a few pieces of clothing that should be seen by anyone outside of my house.

Yes, I am "That" Mom. Are you?

1 comment:

Megryansmom said...

I knew there was a reason I liked you when I met you :)