Friday, January 18, 2008

Being a Mom

I have been home for 3 1/2 days straight. I think it's a record. Jonah came down with a nasty cough on Monday and by Tuesday it was even more nasty and was accompanied by a low-grade fever, irritability, and lots and lots of mucus in his nose and throat. We decided to get him into the doctor, where we were told had a cold...blah, blah, blah. Monday night his fever got even higher (102.5 ~ the highest he has ever had) and his crying became quite constant. I called the doctor again and they wanted me to bring him in to get him reevaluated. He ended up also having an ear infection, so a few different med's were prescribed, and all in all, he is doing much better. He is still playing with his left ear (the one with the infection), but the crying and the raspy voice are much better, and a smile has returned to his sweet little face. Not to bring it down, but he did pass it on to me, which is fine, because I would much rather be sick than for him to be sick. I guess that's the life of a mama.
In these last few days, I have been feeling more and more like a typical housewife/mama than ever before. I am getting my own little groove, and prioritizing what needs to get done. Once he goes down for a nap, I kick myself into high gear to get as much done as I can (dishes, laundry, cleaning up ~myself and the house). And once he get's up we do the lunch thing, and the play thing. I'm just really liking the routine of it all. Which brings me to the fact that I hate that I have to work a part-time job. And I know, I know, there are many mama's out there that have to work WAY more than I do, and frankly I don't know how they do it. Even when I am hanging out with my mama friends for a Mama's Night Out (MNO), I still long to hold that little guy in my arms. I couldn't imagine a 40-hour a week job, and being away from my baby that much.
It's not that I don't like my job. I am good at it and I think I am an asset to the place, but I feel like my job now is to be Mama, full-time, all the time. So one day, when we can make ends meet without my income, I will become a full-time Mama, because seriously there is no other job in the world that I would rather be doing.
It's weird, because if you asked me 2 years ago what I wanted to do, you would have gotten a completely different answer. I would have said, without hesitation, "I am going to go to law school and study Animal Law and become an Animal Rights Lawyer." Now, somewhere, in the back of my mind, it still sounds like an amazing career.
And a little part of me still longs for that career path. But then I look at my little guy, and think, I never want to do anything else. All I want to be is his Mom. And you know what? Nothing could change my mind. Nothing.


Adventures In Babywearing said...

This is exactly it- stay at home moms, working moms, whatever- we all feel the same. There's plenty to dream about, but bottom line is that we love our precious children!

You're doing a great job, Jen!


Carrington said...

you're such a good mama. Hopefullt you guys can find a solution to help you stay home more!

Sniz said...

This is such a sweet post! What a good reminder of he basic joys of being a mom.

Anonymous said...

I feel the same way. I don't ever want to work again..well, maybe when they're all in school :) except, I don't get all the house work done!! haha.

Sarah said...

I am sorry to hear that you guys are so sick! Have you ever considered trying the Chiropractor for Jonah and his ears? I brought my little princess in for ear pain (2 visits) and she was sleeping better and not so fussy. I agree with you about not wanting to be away from them~ so precious! I hope you all feel better soon! :)

P.S. I really look forward to the scrapbook page! :)