Thursday, December 27, 2007

and i thought the word "prodigal" was a good thing.

In the past few months I have been introduced to God. I mean, I have been officially introduced. We spiritually shook hands and said our "How do you do's". And I want to say it has been pretty great. I think for a little bit, I had been changing my path and sharpening my focus. I had my eye on the prize and I felt like I knew exactly where I was going. We were attending church regularly. We were attending our Small Group regularly. So we were getting our doses of God on a pretty regular basis, and I even cracked open the Bible and dove right in. Well, for a few verses that is.

Then, I got sidetracked. Things came up and we weren't able to make it to church and we weren't able to meet for small group (for totally understandable reasons) and my focus drifted. I went in reverse. All of those things I felt like I was working for disappeared. My negative attitude returned. I started using foul language again. I got in on the gossip. I started putting people down. I have become bitter and resentful. I have become proud and self-centered. I have become angry, way too angry, far too angry. It's just not acceptable. And frankly, I went in reverse. And I am sort of stuck there right now. And it is eating away at me. I am so desperate for church. I am so desperate for Small Group. I am feeling a little empty inside. The only thing keeping me near the path I want to be on is my Nooma's. I got a few for Christmas and we gave a few as gifts to others. So I have been watching them and visiting the Nooma website. Me and Rob Bell, are currently pretty good friends. Although, I don't think he is aware of it.

On Christmas Eve morning, Todd gave me a few presents. One of them being the Rush of Fools CD. They are a Christian Band who sing really amazing songs. The first track on their album is called "Undo". I had heard this song before, but for some reason, yesterday I REALLY heard it. Has that ever happened to you? You hear a song or read a story or watch a movie and it's just that, a song, a story, or a movie? Then one day, because of life's circumstances, you just see it in a whole new light? Well, that's what happened to me with Undo. I knew the words, I had sung them a few times. But when I put the CD in the player in my car yesterday, I REALLY heard it. The words soaked in and consumed me. I heard what they were saying, but more importantly, I heard what God was saying. I can't stop listening to this song. It is so emotional.

When Rush of Fools was asked to describe the "story" behind the song "Undo", here is what they said:

“Undo” - This is the theme song of our lives. We are hypocrites and prodigals. Countless times in our lives, we have said one way and walked another. Christ is truly the ONLY one that can turn us around, pick us up and put us back on our feet again. When we went to write this song, we simply didn’t. Our guitars were packed to leave that day and God literally dropped this song in our laps. He’s so much more powerful than we think.

Here is the video. I hope you love it as much as I do. I hope it speaks to you in whatever way God wants it to. I hope you really listen and watch and experience it.


Carrington said...

I really loved this post. It was so personal, so honest and so easy to relate to. Put aside all of that, your writing really drew me in. I love that song too, and I have had so many moments where something you have heard many times before becomes real again. It mainly happens to me through Scripture. I think its the Holy Spirit just working in your heart! I am so happy that God called you back to him, and you are feeling more like the REAL you... the one you have just been discovering.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

I had never heard of that band before. That is great. I love to read your words, too, Jen.


ThePrayerStop said...

Beautiful post. I am sure all of us can relate in one way or another. I know I can.
You know there is something beautiful about what God does to your heart when lifes troubles seem to rain down on top of us. Its like He is saying "OK you have gone to far, you have gotten to submerged in yourself and in your own life now I am going to send you some a reminder!" For all of us that reminder is different, it could be scripture that reads straight to your soul, it could be a song that sings unto you heart, or as for me a movie witch tells me to give everything up for his glory.
Don't get me wrong NOOMA videos our just incredible with so much incite and so much knowledge that is just so easy to understand. But the movie I speak of is called "Facing The Giants" maybe you have heard of it but its done by a small church, it never went to the big screen so as far is acting and stuff goes its not the best but the message that they get across is so simple and is so easy to relate to.
I recommended it to Jacob and Arianne, I don't think they have watched yet but I also recommend it to you! maybe you all should watch it in bible study and discuss on your own if, with God, all things are possible.